"i've never felt so intensely attacked and upset and downright disrespected by a game" - @schizothymous

A simple text-based adventure exploring the age-old question: What would you do if you had more money than any single human being should ever have?

Be sure to expand the side column using the arrow in the upper left to view your current funds.

If you're having trouble getting the above embed to run on your device, you can also play the game on Philome.la!

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PRAISE(?) FOR YOU ARE JEFF BEZOS

"Puts the wealth of the world's richest into dizzying perspective." -Vice Motherboard

"The options are stark reminders of public good we forsake in refusing to redistribute wealth." -Newsweek

"Takes the gifts of games, and applies them to political education." -Paste

"Your recent submission [...] failed during our review process due to a content policy violation." -Amazon Appstore

"This seems highly actionable." -NPR

StatusReleased
PlatformsHTML5
Rating
Rated 4.6 out of 5 stars
(1,102 total ratings)
AuthorKris Lorischild
GenreRole Playing, Simulation
Made withTwine
TagsComedy, Horror, Twine
Average sessionA few minutes

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You Are Jeff Bezos.html 549 kB

Development log

Comments

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Viewing most recent comments 1 to 40 of 247 · Next page · Last page

I have no clue as to how to get the secret endings

Haha, it's time to spend Elon Musk's money now >:)

Wonder why its in horror section

(+6)(-1)

Oh god I knew the corrupt bastard was rich but this is awful, he has all the power in the world to end poverty without even scraping the surface of his wealth. This is sickening

fr

(+3)(-1)

This gotta be one of my favorite games on itch.io of all time. PLEASE make a sequel!!!

(+2)(-1)

i love this :D please make more like it :D 

(+1)(-1)

<3

(+2)

no gambling :((((((

(+3)(-2)

I would absolutely love to see the sequels mentioned. This was fun to play!

(+1)(-2)

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL i loved it

(+6)(-31)

Twitter-brained writers are annoying. at least leftist irony bros can make me laugh. how does anyone enjoy this hamfisted attempt at comedy

(+11)(-3)

  You sound like fun at parties.

(1 edit) (+7)(-34)

This is nothing more than a simulation of the game creator's political fantasies and clear lack of understanding of how the world works. 

(+16)(-6)

It's called comedy...

It's very obviously just for a quick laugh and you shouldn't apply real world logic. 

(+2)(-4)

One of the options is literally "Sit with them and patiently explain why being a billionaire is immoral". It isn't comedy, it is just the creator's political fantasies, as the OC said. If you had bothered to actually play the game, you'd realize that.

(1 edit) (+1)(-1)

Are you a billionaire? Or are you in the majority of people who can only wish they had a billion dollars? This is not a political game, it never tried to be, it is just for fun, and honestly, if all you see when playing games is the hidden "agenda" then you shouldn't play games at all, or just keep your opinion to yourself. And even worse, if your just seeing all the other comments about how "political it is" and parroting them, maybe you should actually play the game. It is just one form of comedy amongst many.

(+1)(-1)

Either you're blind as hell, or you're just making excuses for the creator because you agree with them. I'm going with the latter, because there is absolutely no way you played this game and didn't see anything political about it. It is not a hidden agenda, it is a blatant political statement. You cannot be honest and say that it isn't. Don't be stupid, and calm the hell down.

(+2)(-1)

sorry i cant read your comment over the billionaires dick in your mouth. go buy a house and tell me that a few people having billions of dollars to themselves is a good thing

(+2)(-1)

I think we all need to calm down, I didn't see anything political about the game, just some attempts at humor, and poking fun at people who see political things in every game
I'm not responding to this comment thread anymore, as I would rather not be belittled

Deleted 101 days ago
(+5)(-2)

Oh god this was so much fun

(+1)(-1)

help i just got ll the endings

(+2)

how do you get the 3. secret ending?

(+1)(-2)

Men only want one thing...

(+7)(-28)

this was fun until it got pandery and preachy

(+1)(-1)

Agreed. "Sit with them and patiently explain why being a billionaire is immoral" is just too preachy, and we all know that the creator wouldn't patiently explain anything.

Edie Liger Smith mentioned

(+1)(-2)

You are Donald Trump.

How many endings in total are there? I got the two secrets and the true end, is there any I'm missing?

(+5)(-2)

There are six endings in total! You can check your progress from the wakeup page after completing the game the first time.

(1 edit) (+2)(-1)

YOU Are Elon Musk

(+3)(-2)

yo this is a BANGER of a game i love playing god (the 1%)

(+3)(-1)

this is peak

(+2)(-1)

This was unexpectedly fun, incredibly validating and oddly comforting in a "maybe there's hope" kind of way. If a single billionaire could do this much good, could you imagine the quality of life we'd all have if we didn't idolize or allow their ill-gotten hoard?

(+2)(-2)

This was FUN! It also helped raise some very serious points about the nature of capitalism and the immorality of having so much money. Very Well done!

(3 edits) (+5)

SPOILERS - SECRET ENDING GUIDE. I recommend you try getting them yourself first, using hints dropped by a comment below. This will go into a lot of detail and is for if you just can’t figure it out.

1.) Immediately start spending money.

2.) Pay for the border wall and then don’t built it.

3.) Pick “What else?”

4.) Fund NASA.

5.)​ Double every Amazon employee’s salary.

6.) Buy Twitter.

7.) Show your nibling Twitter.

8.) By now, you should have $200 million left. Fund the animal rescues to get your value to 0.

9.) This will lead you to a secret room from which all the secret endings branch off of.

(+3)(-2)

how are people seething over a joke game

(+2)

Secret end 2 is best - meow :)

(-14)

elon musk is better

(-12)

elon. musk.

my first run is true end

(+5)(-2)

FUNDTHEARTISTSFUNDTHEARTISTSFUNDTHEARTISTSFUNDTHEARTISTSFUNDTHEARTISTS

(+1)(-1)

I don't know, the creator seems to be against capitalism. I say let them hate capitalism and not let them indulge in it whatsoever. Practice what you preach

(-1)

i liked the story.

its a fun concept, and i really found myself enjoying the little time i spent in the game.

(+10)(-1)

I will eat Jeff Bezos.

(+4)(-1)

WOOOOOO I GOT THE TRUE ENDING FIRST TRY!!!!

bad end is so bad!

i got 215,000,000,000 dollars now!

(-1)

i got true end first try by just spending money and not even reading the text

Viewing most recent comments 1 to 40 of 247 · Next page · Last page