"i've never felt so intensely attacked and upset and downright disrespected by a game" - @schizothymous

A simple text-based adventure exploring the age-old question: What would you do if you had more money than any single human being should ever have?

Be sure to expand the side column using the arrow in the upper left to view your current funds.

If you're having trouble getting the above embed to run on your device, you can also play the game on Philome.la!

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PRAISE(?) FOR YOU ARE JEFF BEZOS

"Puts the wealth of the world's richest into dizzying perspective." -Vice Motherboard

"The options are stark reminders of public good we forsake in refusing to redistribute wealth." -Newsweek

"Takes the gifts of games, and applies them to political education." -Paste

"Your recent submission [...] failed during our review process due to a content policy violation." -Amazon Appstore

"This seems highly actionable." -NPR

StatusReleased
PlatformsHTML5
Rating
(541)
AuthorKris Ligman
GenreRole Playing, Simulation
Made withTwine
TagsComedy, Horror, Twine
Average sessionA few minutes

Development log

Comments

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Viewing most recent comments 1 to 40 of 122 · Next page · Last page

horrifying

i have no idea who jeff bazo is and i still dont

such fun to spend all of his f*cking money

(+1)

this is gold and funny

(-34)

This game was SO stupid it inspired me to make an account just to say that you've convinced me that "anti capitalists" are fucking stupid. You guys don't even know what a net worth is.

Just to give you basic knowledge, the formula of net worth is assets-liabilities. I'm no economist or know about finance, but even I know what that means. Liquidity is the actual cash on hand. 

Gosh, after playing through this a couple times I'm convinced that you people have no idea of what your talking about.

(+18)

"Sure, sure. It's also true that no billionaire just sits on a giant pile of cash; most of Bezos' wealth is abstracted into stocks, investments, and so forth.

But that's not the scope of this simulation. This simulation is about spending all of Jeff Bezos' fucking money."


you sure you played this game

(-22)

Yes I did, and I understand the point of the game and more importantly read what people have said about it. And no, in this game you are not spending his money because he doesn't literally have 156 billion in liquid, that is an amount of physical cash that not even Jeff has. And if he literally decided to one day make it all liquid, he'd quickly see all of his net worth falling down as fears in the stocks he have cause it to go down before he even is able to go through it lmao. This game's preaching fails when it doesn't understand basic concepts and is just a shitty communist book. Actually yeah, your right, I did not play this game. This is barely a choose your own adventure book, it's just a shitty communist fiction article.

Also very funnily, this game tries to show how amazing he is that he could be funding NASA and shit, and uh, he did turn some of his money liquid for the very purpose of funding space related shit that involves donating a lander to NASA so I find that fun.

(+12)

You know the game itself recognizes that he doesn't have just a stack of money to spend right. Yes its unrealistic, but so is waking up in the body of some dumb rich fuck.

(+6)

This comment is hilarious! It seems pretty clear you didn't even try NOT to spend Jeff Bezos' money, because the game itself makes this point if you do.


"Sure, sure. It's also true that no billionaire just sits on a giant pile of cash; most of Bezos' wealth is abstracted into stocks, investments, and so forth.

But that's not the scope of this simulation. This simulation is about spending all of Jeff Bezos' fucking money."

(-9)

Hi, glad you had fun reading this comment! At least the comments have provided me with more interactivity than this game has given me.

Deleted 24 days ago
(+1)(-16)

Awesome game, just don't like you insulting our dank lord Elon Musk.

(+1)(-23)

I do not like this because it is dumb.

(+6)(-1)

thats the point mate

(-2)

k

(+20)

kill the rich

(+15)(-1)

i hate this. thank you.

(+14)

"You are Elon Musk."

(+3)

Got all 6 endings loved them

(+4)

that... that was actually more fun than I expected it to be. Not that I expected it to not be fun, I expected it to be fun but I didn't expect to still be smiling 10 minutes afterwards.

(+12)

Is there a way to attempt to buy the Presidency?

(+3)

Does buying twitter and banning trump count?

(+5)

This...is amazing.

(+1)

does anybody know how many endings there are?

There are six endings!

thanks

(+7)(-1)

The true ending... Dear god, what did I do to deserve this!

(+5)(-1)

This is so funny! I've got all the main endings; now to figure out the secret ones...

(+1)(-1)

There's parts that are really funny, parts that are kind of cringey, overall pretty okay!

(+3)(-1)

This was so fun!!! I got the True End. I love the idea that there are different ones; I want to replay soon and see what else I can get.

(+3)(-1)

hell yeah. this was amazing in every way. 

(+6)(-1)

This comment section makes me wanna uninstall my ability to read. Can anyone help with that?

(+1)

Usually reading youtube comments helps.

(+3)(-31)

boring as hell, why the fucks this tagged horror even that game about carrots is scarier than this. in conclusion, wasn't funny didn't laugh

(+13)(-1)

you clearly have no use for the concept of money, thats great !

(+4)(-1)

top tier ngl

(+4)(-39)

Socialist Cringe

(1 edit) (+7)(-1)

This was extremely cathartic. Enjoy prison, ******!

(+1)(-17)

oh shut the fuck up, you stupid brainwashed nut.

(+1)(-2)

I am ELON MUSK.

(+1)(-1)

Me? ME! ME JEFF BEZO$!?! ME?

(+11)(-1)

I don't usually comment but this is one of the best games I've played yet. Think of all the good for the world you could do as a billionaire, man. 

(+1)(-3)

Such a fun game! I really really enjoyed playing it! Here is the gameplay of it! I hope you all enjoy it! 

(+4)

I went sleuthing through the code and then actually sat down with pen and paper and did math to figure out how to get to the secret endings. Look what you've made me do! Ugh.

But I spent Bezos' money in a lot of different ways, and I had a blast doing it. Kudos, comrade.

(+2)(-1)

any chance you could use your powers of math to give the rest of us hints on finding the secret endings? I'm caught in a true-ending loop.

(+6)(-1)

I'm afraid I don't remember the details now -- but it involves getting your money  *exactly* to zero before you're supposed to be able to. Once you figure out the choices that get you close and the choices that make that impossible (i.e. earning interest while talking to your family), it's just a bit of playing around with the numbers and working on the problem backwards until you get there. Once you do, the secret endings all branch off from that point.

I went digging through the code and found an early "if money = $0" flag that tipped me off to this -- never would have figured it out, otherwise.

(+1)(-1)

that's super helpful! thanks!

(+1)

super epic

(+5)(-18)

Has a good message and I agree with it at some points, but sometimes the humor just comes off as "im mad cause people are richer than me."

(+24)(-6)

shut up jeff bezos

(+12)(-6)

people who think socialists are jealous of rich people really have a fundamentally flawed idea of who socialists are and what socialism is.

this is a projection of your own aspirations for wealth and your jealousy. actual socialists are uninterested in the wealthy lifestyle and believe this absurd decadence is beyond immoral, it's not sustainable.

you'll never see mars get colonized, but you might see the earth get re-colonized after a mass extinction event caused by climate catastrophe. this is Musk's actual plan.

the revolution is coming

(+11)(-2)

No, this game is meant to make a point. Billionaires could do so much good with their wealth. Nobody should be drowning in more money than theyd ever need in a lifetime while there are people starving and homeless

(+3)

I usually don't reply to dead posts, but when I do it's to point out the hypocrisy of defending Stalin and socialism at the same time.

(+4)(-15)

Overall amusing and I agree with the general principal but a lot of it comes off as unfunny and petulant anger.

(+8)(-6)

imagine being objectively wrong

(+5)(-15)

Calm down, tankie, it's just a vidya

(+2)(-1)

"petulant" and "anger" were definitely NOT  themes that came to mind when I was playing

(+14)(-1)

I can't believe it. I just ended US homelessness, funded 100k teachers for 4 years, paid personal taxes, doubled every Amazon employees pay, funded 10k artists for 4 years, funded NASA for a year, abolished the electoral college, paid EU taxes, fixed the Flint Water Crisis, funded 10 animal rescues for 4 years, built 10 libraries, paid off 1k student loans, funded 100 indie games, paid bail for everyone in the city jail system...

And I still had $16.6B left over.

(1 edit) (-2)

seventy twenty fifteen point eight fifty two hundred

(+1)(-1)

got the bad ending first try LOL

(+6)(-1)

easy true end

(1 edit) (+1)(-42)

someones is salty.....Can you elaborate why he is bad?

(+5)

"salty".... because he could be saving lives with minimal effort and he chooses not to, to no real benefit to himself.

remember why people didn't like scar from lion king during the stampede scene?

(+10)(-1)

This game is hilarious good job

(+3)(-1)

Silly game, well made, but honestly could not think of anything but this video while playing it:

(+1)(-1)

Cool video. The game admits at several points that it is an unrealistic thought experiment. I think this video adds value into discussion and doesn't devaluate the game.

(-1)

Yeah, for sure :) 

(+3)(-2)

This video is kinda trash. Obviously Bezos can't liquidate all of his assets immediately, but that doesn't make his wealth fake.

He has incredible power and could liquidate billions of dollars a year without devaluing his assets. There are also massive social opportunity costs in the things he does invest in (spaceships, twitter, venture capital). He could invest for a return in food poverty, poverty (through education loans, if necessary), etc.

Video also overlooks the economic liberal perspective on way billionaires are shit. They are a rentier, exploiting their ridiculous market position to levy rents that others cannot.

Viewing most recent comments 1 to 40 of 122 · Next page · Last page