The true ending... Dear god, what did I do to deserve this!
You Are Jeff Bezos
"i've never felt so intensely attacked and upset and downright disrespected by a game" - @schizothymous
A simple text-based adventure exploring the age-old question: What would you do if you had more money than any single human being should ever have?
Be sure to expand the side column using the arrow in the upper left to view your current funds.
If you're having trouble getting the above embed to run on your device, you can also play the game on Philome.la!
Please consider leaving a tip or supporting the creator on Patreon.
PRAISE(?) FOR YOU ARE JEFF BEZOS
"Puts the wealth of the world's richest into dizzying perspective." -Vice Motherboard
"The options are stark reminders of public good we forsake in refusing to redistribute wealth." -Newsweek
"Takes the gifts of games, and applies them to political education." -Paste
"Your recent submission [...] failed during our review process due to a content policy violation." -Amazon Appstore
"This seems highly actionable." -NPR
- Hey, I have a Patreon now!Oct 08, 2019
- Version 1.7 is live - small text revisionsSep 15, 2019
- Version 1.6 is now live - now you can track endings!Dec 20, 2018
- Version 1.5 is now liveDec 06, 2018
- Version 1.4 is now liveNov 17, 2018
- Version 1.3 is now liveOct 25, 2018
- Version 1.2 is now liveOct 24, 2018
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This is so funny! I've got all the main endings; now to figure out the secret ones...
There's parts that are really funny, parts that are kind of cringey, overall pretty okay!
This was so fun!!! I got the True End. I love the idea that there are different ones; I want to replay soon and see what else I can get.
hell yeah. this was amazing in every way.
This comment section makes me wanna uninstall my ability to read. Can anyone help with that?
boring as hell, why the fucks this tagged horror even that game about carrots is scarier than this. in conclusion, wasn't funny didn't laugh
top tier ngl
This was extremely cathartic. Enjoy prison, ******!
I am ELON MUSK.
Me? ME! ME JEFF BEZO$!?! ME?
I don't usually comment but this is one of the best games I've played yet. Think of all the good for the world you could do as a billionaire, man.
Such a fun game! I really really enjoyed playing it! Here is the gameplay of it! I hope you all enjoy it!
I went sleuthing through the code and then actually sat down with pen and paper and did math to figure out how to get to the secret endings. Look what you've made me do! Ugh.
But I spent Bezos' money in a lot of different ways, and I had a blast doing it. Kudos, comrade.
any chance you could use your powers of math to give the rest of us hints on finding the secret endings? I'm caught in a true-ending loop.
I'm afraid I don't remember the details now -- but it involves getting your money *exactly* to zero before you're supposed to be able to. Once you figure out the choices that get you close and the choices that make that impossible (i.e. earning interest while talking to your family), it's just a bit of playing around with the numbers and working on the problem backwards until you get there. Once you do, the secret endings all branch off from that point.
I went digging through the code and found an early "if money = $0" flag that tipped me off to this -- never would have figured it out, otherwise.
Has a good message and I agree with it at some points, but sometimes the humor just comes off as "im mad cause people are richer than me."
shut up jeff bezos
people who think socialists are jealous of rich people really have a fundamentally flawed idea of who socialists are and what socialism is.
this is a projection of your own aspirations for wealth and your jealousy. actual socialists are uninterested in the wealthy lifestyle and believe this absurd decadence is beyond immoral, it's not sustainable.
you'll never see mars get colonized, but you might see the earth get re-colonized after a mass extinction event caused by climate catastrophe. this is Musk's actual plan.
the revolution is coming
No, this game is meant to make a point. Billionaires could do so much good with their wealth. Nobody should be drowning in more money than theyd ever need in a lifetime while there are people starving and homeless
I usually don't reply to dead posts, but when I do it's to point out the hypocrisy of defending Stalin and socialism at the same time.
Overall amusing and I agree with the general principal but a lot of it comes off as unfunny and petulant anger.
imagine being objectively wrong
"petulant" and "anger" were definitely NOT themes that came to mind when I was playing
I can't believe it. I just ended US homelessness, funded 100k teachers for 4 years, paid personal taxes, doubled every Amazon employees pay, funded 10k artists for 4 years, funded NASA for a year, abolished the electoral college, paid EU taxes, fixed the Flint Water Crisis, funded 10 animal rescues for 4 years, built 10 libraries, paid off 1k student loans, funded 100 indie games, paid bail for everyone in the city jail system...
And I still had $16.6B left over.
seventy twenty fifteen point eight fifty two hundred
got the bad ending first try LOL
easy true end
someones is salty.....Can you elaborate why he is bad?
"salty".... because he could be saving lives with minimal effort and he chooses not to, to no real benefit to himself.
remember why people didn't like scar from lion king during the stampede scene?
This game is hilarious good job
Silly game, well made, but honestly could not think of anything but this video while playing it:
Cool video. The game admits at several points that it is an unrealistic thought experiment. I think this video adds value into discussion and doesn't devaluate the game.
This video is kinda trash. Obviously Bezos can't liquidate all of his assets immediately, but that doesn't make his wealth fake.
He has incredible power and could liquidate billions of dollars a year without devaluing his assets. There are also massive social opportunity costs in the things he does invest in (spaceships, twitter, venture capital). He could invest for a return in food poverty, poverty (through education loans, if necessary), etc.
Video also overlooks the economic liberal perspective on way billionaires are shit. They are a rentier, exploiting their ridiculous market position to levy rents that others cannot.
Love this so much.
Great Game, and even better comment section!
Wow, I love this game! Not only is it super funny, but it makes you think quite a bit. What would people do if they had Jeff Bezos' money, would people start to revolt or support charitable actions, and what coffee shop was he staying at??? Those baristas were solid.
Got the true ending on my first run. I AM ELON
gamers getting mad at this game is so funny like "oh noo this game is socialist boo" like, no shit guys! games (especially indie games) have been used to prove political points before, because at the end of the day games are another storytelling medium. Anyways great game do any of you guys know how to get the good ending?
I take it that you want socialism. well I got bad news for you. its a failed ideology. take a glance at Venezuela. as for your attacks on critics such as me and others, its disgusting to alienate a group of people that dont want politics in games.
You could then just not play this kind of game? I'm assuming nobody sat you down and tied your hands to the keyboard. If you don't want politics in your games, don't play a game that from the title alone you're able to tell is probably politically motivated. At that point you're just looking for an excuse to be angry. Cheers, mate.
I did play just to see what it is. the synopsis was very broad and didnt state the obvious bias that I was playing. it was a bait to indoctrinate people to hate capitalism and want to implement socialism as it's place
Well good, otherwise what's the fucking point of propaganda?? I don't expect game devs to be castrated apolitical sheep who daren't question the overlords. I expect them to tell me what the fuck is up, at least from their perspective, in cool ways, which is what we have here. I don't see anything being hurt here but bootlickers' feelings. It's not "disgusting" (mildly upsetting) to "alienate" (not cater to) people who hate socialism. Besides, if you hate alienation, maybe give more of a shit about minorities, who get alienated in every fucking mainstream game. This funny economics thought experiment is one of the only games I've played that I actually feel like isn't alienating. So cry me a river. It's timmy's turn on the twine.
That is a pro socialist website. if you think what the media reporting is a lie then explain the footage of thousands of people foraging for food in dumpsters like this
If you cant come up with another bullshit story like this pro communist shit website, then you are part of the problem. I dare you to move there, and I can bet you wont even last a month under their conditions.
Well, I certainly wouldn't last a month there right now... all that lovely oil has changed that, yet again.
Sorry, how the fuck is keeping $65 billion a bad end? I ain't spending no god damn money on some god damn lawyer.
Sorry but after playing this. It is clear that this sends a socialist message to gamers. We cannot let politics interfere our entertainment. not to mention it was inspired by man hater Zoe Quinn.
What? I raise a point but instead I get attacked for it. gaming industry is so fucking polarized and toxic, its a cancer.
Tons of games (GTA as an example) send a capitalist message to gamers as well, but you don't sit down and cry about those games, huh.
I despise GTA. it promotes crime and the killing of cops.
"We cannot let politics interfere our entertainment." Hate to break it to you buddy, but there is no such thing as an apolitical game. If you don't recognize the politics in gaming until it's socialist, you're missing a lot of perspective. Also, fuck that "man hater" bullshit. Zoe Quinn has faced more sexism and bullshit than MOST internet denizens for daring to exist as a game dev who isn't a man.
THEY are a PERSON who has been subjected to one of the internet's worst witch hunts. Their abuser committed suicide. News flash, that happens sometimes. Suicide can't be stopped by anyone but a professional psych. Say whatever you want about the legality of the situation, but stop playing to the douchebro stereotype by bring their LOOKS into this, like misogynists always fucking do. You wouldn't be calling them scrawny or any other body-based insult if they were a man. You don't care. Cry me a river.
The overall concept here is fun for a simple twenty-minute experience, and the writing is fairly amusing for the most part, but there's one detail that I feel needs to be addressed.
The text repeatedly jokes about 'the young blood you [Bezos] have pumped into yourself'. This is a clear reference to the supposed "trend" of wealthy individuals purchasing blood from healthy, young people and injecting it into themselves to become more youthful. Said trend is completely fake.
I know this game isn't meant to be completely serious or realistic, so parodies and jokes are fine, but it needs to be stressed that the "young blood" rumor is a right-wing lie spun up to demonize "The Elite" (a.k.a. Jewish people) under the guise of anti-capitalist rhetoric. Much like jokes about "lizard people", it is a seemingly-harmless piece of humor that actually serves to spread anti-Semitism and make it easier to sway the unaware toward fascism.
This game has been out for quite some time now and doesn't seem to be receiving further updates, so I understand if the developer has long since shifted priorities elsewhere, but it would be good to have this addressed in some way. Barring that, it would do the people playing the game to be aware of where this "joke" came from and avoid spreading it further.
Just seeing this comment for the first time, sorry that I didn't respond earlier.
I'm ashamed to say I didn't make the connection to blood libel myself, and I wish that I had. The research exists and so does the start-up Peter Thiel is associated with, but you're right that otherwise the reports appear blown out of proportion, in part I'm sure due to the very anti-Semitic trope you mention.
As you point out, the game's been out for about a year now and I'm not actively working on it anymore. However, I'm still making a note to myself to revise these passages the next time I have the opportunity, because 1) I can, and 2) had I realized this connection when I was making it I'd never have written the jokes into the game.
(If any readers passing by are about to cry censorship: don't.)
I may not be able to update the game on other platforms/services, specifically Philomela (which is soon entering read-only mode) and Tap (which is handled by another company), but I'll try in any event. Any other websites besides those and itch which mirror the game are doing so without my consent so unfortunately there's not much I can do about them.
I want to thank you for bringing this issue to light, and also apologize to you and to anyone who may have been hurt by the game's inclusion of this awful trope. My ignorance is not an excuse and my intentions don't absolve me, but I can promise to get the content out of the game in any way that I control and vow to do better going forward.
Valid. Thank you. Fuck anti-semitism.
this was such a good game!
this was wonderful. i enjoyed spending money that i will never have (for good reason)
Unfortunately glitchy. Kept crossing off list options I hadn't actually chosen (and was hoping to get around to!). But I did get to leave Real Jeff Bezos penniless and in jail after fixing the Flint water crisis while I hopped off to be Elon Musk so overall, good game. Funny as heck.
the game will cross off options that you no longer have the funds for, if that's what you mean
I avoided this game for so long because I thought it was lame to immortalize billionaires the way we do in the United States. Oh, how I was so wrong about this beautiful beautiful game.
Lol I had a similar thing. I was like, fuck no I don't want to play as Bezos. But the premise was perfect.
Jesus christ people, I think this guy just wanted to make a game about being stupid rich, you dont need to start yelling at eachother in the comments about socialism vs capitalism. How about we all agree this is a fun but stupid game, that isnt trying to spread any political message, and that every way of political thinking has problems. All y'all are doing at this point is making eachother angry, not having political discussion.
Actually, the whole point of the game WAS to inspire people to talk about capitalism, inequality, and wealth. So, you trying to ride the fence here is pointless.
If you can show me where in the game it specifically says this I'd appreciate it, All I see it doing is demeaning both sides in parody. It's highly annoying to just be playing some goofy game, look down in the comments, and see them filled with both socialist and capitalist propaganda.
Look, I see what you're saying. I haven't asked the developer myself but based on the context of the game its pretty obvious it was made to elicit thought. Its showing people some of the things that you can do with 156 Billion dollars. Which, as it turns out, is quite a lot. Solve homelessness, fund 100 indie games, pay for a border wall and not build it, and still not even be close to out of money. The propaganda you're talking about is people sharing their opinions. Some people decide to do that like an asshole and we can't control that. People should argue and disagree! It's good for the discussion and personal growth. The bad part, is when someone is being a total prick when they do it.
If you just enjoyed the game and didn't care to notice any of the social commentary that's fine too. You're allowed to just play a silly game without getting involved in the discussion afterwards.
Well I mean fair enough, I was just pointing out that the comment section needed to chill out, I was seeing entire threads that were filled with people throwing pictures degrading the other side of the argument in some way or another, which only served to make people angry. I wanted the discussion to end because it had gotten to the point of people fruitlessly yelling at eachother in almost all of the threads I looked at., not the fault of the commenters mind you, it's just that political discussion is highly involved and a system like reddit's or itch's is highly uninvolved.