You Are Jeff Bezos
"i've never felt so intensely attacked and upset and downright disrespected by a game" - @schizothymous
A simple text-based adventure exploring the age-old question: What would you do if you had more money than any single human being should ever have?
Be sure to expand the side column using the arrow in the upper left to view your current funds.
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PRAISE(?) FOR YOU ARE JEFF BEZOS
"Puts the wealth of the world's richest into dizzying perspective." -Vice Motherboard
"The options are stark reminders of public good we forsake in refusing to redistribute wealth." -Newsweek
"Takes the gifts of games, and applies them to political education." -Paste
"Your recent submission [...] failed during our review process due to a content policy violation." -Amazon Appstore
"This seems highly actionable." -NPR
Download
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Development log
- Hey, I have a Patreon now!Oct 08, 2019
- Version 1.7 is live - small text revisionsSep 15, 2019
- Version 1.6 is now live - now you can track endings!Dec 20, 2018
- Version 1.5 is now liveDec 06, 2018
- Version 1.4 is now liveNov 17, 2018
- Version 1.3 is now liveOct 25, 2018
- Version 1.2 is now liveOct 24, 2018
Comments
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Oh god I knew the corrupt bastard was rich but this is awful, he has all the power in the world to end poverty without even scraping the surface of his wealth. This is sickening
This gotta be one of my favorite games on itch.io of all time. PLEASE make a sequel!!!
i love this :D please make more like it :D
<3
no gambling :((((((
I would absolutely love to see the sequels mentioned. This was fun to play!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL i loved it
Twitter-brained writers are annoying. at least leftist irony bros can make me laugh. how does anyone enjoy this hamfisted attempt at comedy
You sound like fun at parties.
This is nothing more than a simulation of the game creator's political fantasies and clear lack of understanding of how the world works.
It's called comedy...
It's very obviously just for a quick laugh and you shouldn't apply real world logic.
One of the options is literally "Sit with them and patiently explain why being a billionaire is immoral". It isn't comedy, it is just the creator's political fantasies, as the OC said. If you had bothered to actually play the game, you'd realize that.
Are you a billionaire? Or are you in the majority of people who can only wish they had a billion dollars? This is not a political game, it never tried to be, it is just for fun, and honestly, if all you see when playing games is the hidden "agenda" then you shouldn't play games at all, or just keep your opinion to yourself. And even worse, if your just seeing all the other comments about how "political it is" and parroting them, maybe you should actually play the game. It is just one form of comedy amongst many.
Either you're blind as hell, or you're just making excuses for the creator because you agree with them. I'm going with the latter, because there is absolutely no way you played this game and didn't see anything political about it. It is not a hidden agenda, it is a blatant political statement. You cannot be honest and say that it isn't. Don't be stupid, and calm the hell down.
sorry i cant read your comment over the billionaires dick in your mouth. go buy a house and tell me that a few people having billions of dollars to themselves is a good thing
I think we all need to calm down, I didn't see anything political about the game, just some attempts at humor, and poking fun at people who see political things in every game
I'm not responding to this comment thread anymore, as I would rather not be belittled
Oh god this was so much fun
help i just got ll the endings
how do you get the 3. secret ending?
Men only want one thing...
this was fun until it got pandery and preachy
Agreed. "Sit with them and patiently explain why being a billionaire is immoral" is just too preachy, and we all know that the creator wouldn't patiently explain anything.
Edie Liger Smith mentioned
You are Donald Trump.
How many endings in total are there? I got the two secrets and the true end, is there any I'm missing?
There are six endings in total! You can check your progress from the wakeup page after completing the game the first time.
YOU Are Elon Musk
yo this is a BANGER of a game i love playing god (the 1%)
this is peak
This was unexpectedly fun, incredibly validating and oddly comforting in a "maybe there's hope" kind of way. If a single billionaire could do this much good, could you imagine the quality of life we'd all have if we didn't idolize or allow their ill-gotten hoard?
This was FUN! It also helped raise some very serious points about the nature of capitalism and the immorality of having so much money. Very Well done!
SPOILERS - SECRET ENDING GUIDE. I recommend you try getting them yourself first, using hints dropped by a comment below. This will go into a lot of detail and is for if you just can’t figure it out.
1.) Immediately start spending money.
2.) Pay for the border wall and then don’t built it.
3.) Pick “What else?”
4.) Fund NASA.
5.) Double every Amazon employee’s salary.
6.) Buy Twitter.
7.) Show your nibling Twitter.
8.) By now, you should have $200 million left. Fund the animal rescues to get your value to 0.
9.) This will lead you to a secret room from which all the secret endings branch off of.
how are people seething over a joke game
Secret end 2 is best - meow :)
elon musk is better
elon. musk.
my first run is true end
FUNDTHEARTISTSFUNDTHEARTISTSFUNDTHEARTISTSFUNDTHEARTISTSFUNDTHEARTISTS
I don't know, the creator seems to be against capitalism. I say let them hate capitalism and not let them indulge in it whatsoever. Practice what you preach
i liked the story.
its a fun concept, and i really found myself enjoying the little time i spent in the game.
I will eat Jeff Bezos.
WOOOOOO I GOT THE TRUE ENDING FIRST TRY!!!!
bad end is so bad!
i got 215,000,000,000 dollars now!
i got true end first try by just spending money and not even reading the text
Any chance you'd consider making a downloadable version of this game?
I understand it's a critique of capitalism, so perhaps the choice to make it online-only was intended to thwart private ownership? If so, I get that, but the archivist in me doesn't trust the internet to eternally preserve access to games like this, and this is a game I like showing to people online and offline.
No pressure and no judgment from me, regardless of your decision. (Although if making it online-only was a deliberate choice, it'd be interesting to hear your reason(s) why.)
Best wishes and thanks for a great game! Using games as a way to provide social commentary and truth telling is a great idea, and this game makes its point in a way that a straightforward essay, no matter how well-written, never could.
Thank you for your kind words!
If you donate (any amount) you can download a copy of the game, which should run in any web browser or the Twine program itself.
EDIT: I just saw that I can include a download button of my own! It's up on the game's page now. o7
whoever wants the secret endings uhm just follow this EXACTLY:
Dang, how did my secret notes end up online?
y'all need to read scientific v.s utopian socialism
edit: and settlers.