"i've never felt so intensely attacked and upset and downright disrespected by a game" - @schizothymous

A simple text-based adventure exploring the age-old question: What would you do if you had more money than any single human being should ever have?

Be sure to expand the side column using the arrow in the upper left to view your current funds.

If you're having trouble getting the above embed to run on your device, you can also play the game on Philome.la!

Please consider leaving a tip or supporting the creator on Patreon.


"Puts the wealth of the world's richest into dizzying perspective." -Vice Motherboard

"The options are stark reminders of public good we forsake in refusing to redistribute wealth." -Newsweek

"Takes the gifts of games, and applies them to political education." -Paste

"Your recent submission [...] failed during our review process due to a content policy violation." -Amazon Appstore

"This seems highly actionable." -NPR

Rated 4.6 out of 5 stars
(972 total ratings)
AuthorKris Lorischild
GenreRole Playing, Simulation
Made withTwine
TagsComedy, Horror, Twine
Average sessionA few minutes


Download NowName your own price

Click download now to get access to the following files:

You Are Jeff Bezos.html 549 kB

Development log


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Viewing most recent comments 1 to 40 of 219 · Next page · Last page

This was written by a left-wing kike retard who's jealous of Jeff's money

Secret end 2 is best - meow :)


elon musk is better


elon. musk.

my first run is true end



i liked the story.

its a fun concept, and i really found myself enjoying the little time i spent in the game.


I will eat Jeff Bezos.



bad end is so bad!

i got 215,000,000,000 dollars now!

i got true end first try by just spending money and not even reading the text

(1 edit)

Any chance you'd consider making a downloadable version of this game?

I understand it's a critique of capitalism, so perhaps the choice to make it online-only was intended to thwart private ownership?  If so, I get that, but the archivist in me doesn't trust the internet to eternally preserve access to games like this, and this is a game I like showing to people online and offline. 

No pressure and no judgment from me, regardless of your decision.  (Although if making it online-only was a deliberate choice, it'd be interesting to hear your reason(s) why.)

Best wishes and thanks for a great game!  Using games as a way to provide social commentary and truth telling is a great idea, and this game makes its point in a way that a straightforward essay, no matter how well-written, never could.

(1 edit)

Thank you for your kind words!

If you donate (any amount) you can download a copy of the game, which should run in any web browser or the Twine program itself.

EDIT: I just saw that I can include a download button of my own! It's up on the game's page now. o7

whoever wants the secret endings uhm just follow this EXACTLY:

Dang, how did my secret notes end up online?

(1 edit) (+1)

y'all need to read scientific v.s utopian socialism

edit: and settlers.





true end first try!


same lol





(1 edit) (+2)

how do you get the secret endings?


Oh my god that true ending is funny as hell


Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.


Really enjoyed this game!

the concerned greetings card from the gates sENT ME-

Funny :)


LMFAO the game praise XD

"'Your recent submission [...] failed during our review process due to a content policy violation.' -Amazon Appstore"

I love this game it is vary well made


This is a great game I love it a lot


(1 edit) (+21)

For those of you who are looking for the secret endings of this game:

* They all branch out from reaching $0 early.
* The endings become unachievable if you earn any additional money.  This includes using the toilet at the start of the game and talking to your niece/nephew.
* The endings also become unavailable if you end up paying for the college tuitions of the three baristas.
* You need to buy exactly 1 specific option from the first menu of items.
* You need to buy three specific items on the next page, one of which is Twitter (which appears after you've bought the other two).
* If you bought the right combination of items in the first and second menus, your available balance should precisely equal the cost of one of the third menu's items.  Choosing it will start the beginning of the secret paths.

Hopefully, this will help those who are looking for the secret endings to find them without taking away all of the challenge, but also without the need to whip up a Python script to solve this particular instance of the knapsack problem (... like I did (*coughcough*) ).


Great game, too many salty libertarians in the comments though.


As oppose to hardcore authoritarians which are either nazi or socialist larpers?

Love this, not even American but love this lol, 10/10 ;)

Played thru multiple times, true end made me chuckle, good work!!

First Twine game I ever played, and I love it! Especially the humor and the accuracy.


BAHAHAHAHAHA. great game. a second season of nozaki-kun is truly what we all want. and pay the animators!!


literal masterpiece of a game, I would love to see a sequel for elon

Honestly, the best game I've ever played in my life

awesome game! 10/10 This is amazing.


You NEED to make a sequel iavhxodvxouwdvcwycvd


This is  absolutely brilliant. Kinda depressing tho seeing how much could be fixed if one man woke up and decided to be more generous. Or we could actually tax him idk  


It's delusional to think that billionaire giving away money will solve anything. If Bezo decides to "end homelessness" tomorrow, the demand for houses and cost would grow exponentially and he will run out of money before half of the homeless people get a house. Since demands for houses rise, working middle classes will no longer be able to afford homes.

Idea is bad on paper, and even worse in real life. Just like communism 


Newsflash my guy, the shrinking "middle class" already can't afford homes


Are people living in CA actually surprised they can't afford homes after voting blue for decades?


It isn't just CA
I'm in Missouri, a Red State for a few Decades and you can *barely* afford a trailer with a well above average wage


So what's your point? Your personal story has nothing to do with the fact that CA median home price is 4 times higher than in MO. 


Communism is a great base idea on paper. It just requires an incorruptable leadership and willing participants. Those are extremely hard to get, so it hasn't worked out very well in the past. The basic idea of communism is great, though.


Good taste in anime


I'm Jeff BAY ZO?

Viewing most recent comments 1 to 40 of 219 · Next page · Last page